" To Hat or Not To Hat...!!!! "

Anyone that knows me, or even if you have only seen pictures of me you know that I sometimes wear a Cowboy hat, not that I am one, and it is BLACK. It is what I call my attitude hat. It may represent me being happy, I do have those moments, or it could be because I am....well a little not so happy. But the main thing I am trying to impress upon you is that the Hat is BLACK !!

Now, I said all that because of my son Virgil. We were able to get with him and his lovely family during the Christmas holidays. We exchanged gifts and all were happy. It is so hard to buy for people when you don't get to see them for months at a time. During the visit and the many conversations that evolved so many topics as we have not seen them for over a year and there was a lot of catching up to do. Anyway, Virgil said something about a Duster, the coat not the car, that he got and I said that I had always wanted to get one but never really had the money for one when I was thinking of it. It was like Thomas Edison re-born, his face lit up as the light bulbs in his head came to life. Hey, Cattleya (his wife), guess what Dad likes? He said he always wanted a Duster like mine. She said "Great, now we know what we can get him"! My son, like myself, likes black.My son, not like myself, is pretty buff and a little taller and heavier than me. He likes black. Did I already say that? Well, I don't care because it is important to this story.

For my Birthday they bought me a Duster? Well, they thought they did. What came was a Waist Coat. A very nice one, and it was Large and it was Brown. Again, I am a medium and well I like BLACK !!!!!

I called him and he asked how I liked the coat and I said that it was a very nice coat and that it was Brown and that it was a Waist coat and that it was large and that I was very happy that he had bought it for me. He said "WHAT", it is not suppose to be a Waist coat it is suppose to be a Duster and that it is suppose to be Black.

I said...nope!! he said to send it back to the shipper and that they would have to exchange it because that was not what he ordered. I said..OK !! Oh, by the way, this coat is Large, it is kind of big. He said that they run big and did not know what size to get. I asked him what size he got, thinking that it would be large and he said a medium. A Medium? Virgil, you are bigger then I am what made you think that a large would fit me if it did not fit you....then there was a lot of good humor cutting each other down for a few minutes..I love that kid.

We called the shipper and was told to put it back in the bag it came in and to tape it up and send it back via UPS. We did as we were told and just like Elvis Presley's song "Return to sender" it came right back the very next day. UPS said that the package had been open, DUH, and that they could not return it to the shipper.

Ring Ring Ring, hello Virgil? Guess what, UPS won't take it. More phone calls to the shipper. Our sister leaves the package on the back porch, and in a day or two it is gone. Please God tell me UPS picked it up.

Ring Ring Ring, hello Virgil? The package has been picked up. They call the shipper and the shipper has the returned coat. They now have to reorder the coat, Duster----Medium----Black. Okay, got it, we will ship it to your Dad via U S Postal.

Excelsior, The package has come. It is a small box that looks like it may hold a shirt not a coat. But I open it and amazingly it is a Duster. I get it unfolded and it is a Medium and it fits, told you so Virgil. And it is B......rown. Crap. It is a very dark Brown and I grab my Hat because I am really hoping upon all hopes that perhaps it is really Black and not Brown. Hell no, it is sssooooooo Brown. Now I am beside myself on what to do. If I send it back then the kids will have to go through the re-ordering thing again, and I really don't want that. If I keep it, then I will have to buy another hat. Oh Me..Oh MY..!!!!!!

Well, I think that I am going to keep the Brown Duster, I am afraid that if I send it back I just may get a Pink TUTU instead of the Right Coat, the Right Size and the Right Color. So To Hat or Not to Hat was the question and I have answered it to the best of my knowledge and that is my final answer.

You all be safe. Later, Brad
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