Need to get it off my chest

This will be a little, well a lot, different from any of my usual run of the mouth Blogs. I have a few things that I need to get fof my chest. I will not bore you with the complete story of my life to date, but I do want you to understand where I am coming from. My childhood was pretty much the same as everyone's. The things that helped hone my persona were formed at a very young age. My parents were good parents and I love and miss them, neither are here anymore. My Mother was the typical house wife of that era. Coffees, card parties, shopping, a little part time job sometimes and taking care of the kids. My Father was a working man and a good provider. Neither of them the "hands on " types of parents. They loved us and were there for us, but not the roll around on the floor or go fishing type of parents. My Dad was a big flirt and a hug and kiss type of guy. My Mom was a funny and loving person. Oh, by the way, I have an younger sister and my older brother is also no longer with us. You can see, I was the middle child. That is not a good position to be in. My Dad was very judgmental.

Enough said about my childhood. I have had many ups and many, many let downs. I have been hurt. I have learned that trust in general is no more than a word. So throughout the years I have put up walls to the point that I would not allow anyone to enter my little black world. No, I was not having a pity party, it was a place that was mine and mine alone and no one could destroy it. Foolish, perhaps.

I am very judgmental and I judge by first impressions. I know, that is wrong and I should always look for the good in people and things. Well, from my life experiences I do not look at the world in the same way most other people do.

I still have my little world, but now I fill it with people that are close to me. If you find yourself in it you should consider yourself privileged, not because I am special, it is because I find you extraordinary and very special. Not all are welcome inside, some are allowed at the gate where I am more than happy to be with there. But they cant come in.

You are asking yourself what the heck is he talking about. Stay with me please, I am getting to it I am trying really hard to type my words in a manner that will not be filled with anger.

The saying "Blood is thicker than water" is not so much the case with me. Oh, don't get me wrong, I love my family, but that does not mean the I like them. There are some that have used, lied and turned their backs on me. Each to their own, but not in my world. I have 6 children of my own and only one of them is part of my life. Not my choice, there's.

When I married Ruth Ann, she brought with her an amazing family. I was truly blessed. I love each and everyone of them and if anyone would hurt any of them I would defend them to the max.

There was one person in this configuration that I felt was a very unique individual. He was, for me, a hard person to figure out. But, there was something about him I really liked. As time went by the more I liked him and admired him. After years, we, I thought, became friends. Unlike me, I trusted this friendship and he was one of the few that I placed in my little world. It did not take long for the knife to be put in my back. While he was pretending to be the great father and terrific husband he was laughing and lying and cheating on the whole family. No, it is not about me I am not the most hurt one. What I am sayingis that no matter who you think someone is, perhaps you may want to take another look.

Are the gates to my world close, no. Will I still let people in, yes. Can I trust people...........I will always hope so, but because of this I once again raise the bar a little .

I hope you are in my world, it would be lonely without you.

You all be safe...........Later, Brad