I can only imagine that when people get up in the morning that they are basically sane. They get up, walk around, fix something to eat and drink and get dressed. So far, they are a logical functioning human being. They are alert to all things around them and they proceed to enter the world, my world.
And then it happens, they open a door and sit down. They look in the mirror and congratulate themselves on being able to get to this point of their new day without hurting themselves. Then that round plastic object, the steering wheel, is in their hands and the pleasant outer layer of their appearance is melted away leaving a moronic alter ego insane personality.
I was driving on I-294 going north bound on the out-skirts of Chicago,IL around the 6 mile marker. It is about noon Chicago time and of course there is construction as usual so we are are down to 3 lanes. At this time I am in the slow lane, which is kinda of silly to say as all the lanes are moving slow. I glance in my right mirror and see a white car coming down the on-ramp in a hurry. Why I do not know because no one else seems to be in any hurry. But this moron is and as he gets to the bottom of the ramp he pays no attention to the yield sign nor the slow traffic nor that the ramp is ending very quickly and that there is a concrete barrier in front of him. I see what I think is going to be a decision on his part to stop and ease into traffic behind me. HA..yes I say HA. Ney ney my friends. He is in a Cadillac Se Ville and the road is HIS...NOT!! I watch in disbelief as he continues to come up my right side as the space for him is rapidly diminishing. All of a sudden he gets a smart fart in his brain and slams on his brakes. AWWWWWW...to late. He swerves a little to the right and BAM..taps the wall. I watch to see what other skills he may process and I am amazed at his next trick. Now, we are bumper to bumper going slow yet this imbecile manages to cut out behind me across two lanes of traffic and is now in the far left lane. Then he comes back two lanes of traffic and is now right in front of me throwing his brakes on and flipping me off. He jumps out of his car and waves his arms in the shy, a lot like a monkey does, and walks around. He goes to the right side of his car and points to someplace on the lower front end of his fender that is not visible to me and looks at me. I am not sure what he expects of me, does he want me to applaud? Unsure of what to do I motion with my hands and arms in a manner as if saying....sssssssoooooooo??!!??!! I now try to maneuver around him and finally someone lets me out. I am not going to stop here in the middle of the highway and get hit in this construction zone because of this lunatic. I jester for him to move up the road and find some where else to present his show-n-tell work of art. I call 911 and let them know what is going on and tell them where I am and give them my name and cell number. They tell me to go to the toll plaza up the road a bit so we can get to a safe place and that is where I go.
When I get there I call 911 back and tell them that I have arrived and am waiting for the Police. They ask about the idiot and I tell them he is no where around.
I have a lot of respect for the Law enforcement people and the 911 dispatch. After awhile, 45 minutes, no one has come and I call 911 again making sure everyone is on the right page. I am told that there was never a officer dispatched and that one would be right now. I don't know what happened other then maybe something " REALLY " important came up. Anyway, the officer got to me and as I explained to him what had happen, why I was here instead of there and the instructions I received form 911 he nodded. He asked where the other driver was and I told him I had no clue. He asked if I got hit or if I hit the car and I said no and he said then why did I think I needed to make a report. Again, I told him that I was trying to do everything right and follow directions. He said okay, but I could go. No one, the Master Driver, had made a report and not to worry about it.
So, if there is any one out there that gets Plasticsydous when they get in their means of transportation, beware..you DO NOT have the right to enter thruways without yielding, you DO NOT have the right to try and sandwich your vehicle between two objects that there is no way possibly for you to get through and you DO NOT have the right to leave your home when you are stupid. Go back to bed and call in sick and stay there until you grow up and can play with the rest of us nicely.
You all be safe............Later, Brad
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